Situation Normal: All Fouled Up (that would be the family friendly version).
The United States Air Force is an amazing institution. We can put a 2,ooolbs bomb within a meter or two of any point on earth, we can read license plates from orbit and we have planes that are all but invisible to radar. So why, when I went to the BX (Base Exchange) yesterday to buy my wife a birthday card, could I not find one? Granted, we’re in the middle of Afghanistan, but this base has been established for about three years now and has one of the nicest BXs in the entire AOR. It’s not even like there is a shortage of cards; the greeting card section takes up an entire isle. The problem is all but one of the birthday cards were under the heading “For Him” or “From Her to Him”, and there were a lot. Let me put this another way; according to the DoD, in 2004 15% of the DoD’s enlisted and officer corps (all services) were women, the percentage of deployed personnel that women make up is even smaller and yet there I stood for ten minutes trying to find one, just one birthday card that didn’t start “To my loving husband…” or “To the world’s best husband…” or have red lipstick “kisses” all over it. Eventually I found one. It was, perhaps, the stupidest card I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t subject my wife to it. I just don’t understand, maybe it has something to do with the old joke about “military intelligence” being an oxymoron, or maybe AAFES just doesn’t have a clue about it’s customer base in the deployed environment (all they’d have to do is look around). I don’t know, maybe I’m being unreasonable, maybe there’s a perfectly logical explanation for why a store with a 95% male customer base would sell, almost exclusively, greeting cards made for purchase by women (it wasn’t just the birthday cards either, I checked), but I really can’t think of one.
July 2nd, 2005 at 7:15 pm
I always prefer to just write a letter or a note, I find most cards you see at the stores as pretty appalling. I suspect however that what you saw is a classic example of something I see in the UK all the time, when the popular stuff sells out you don’t replace it until all the other unpopular stuff sells out too. It is a handy way to avoid making any money, something many British stores specialize in.
July 4th, 2005 at 2:41 am
I am a military wife (also on Okinawa)just wanted to let you know that I agree that AAFES is clueles, but also give where you are, that your wife would have probably been thrild that you put out the effort, and would not have cared if you had sent a Christmas Card as long as the thought was there!
July 5th, 2005 at 3:57 am
Better watch out the hallmark police have scanning algorithms that are as good as they who shall be nameless. Of course they use the same ones to write the cards, so maybe your OK.
July 5th, 2005 at 8:27 am
Marie,
Too true!
July 5th, 2005 at 1:19 pm
Well, I’m trying to come up with something else, hopefully it will work out, but at the least there will be a phone call on the special day…
July 5th, 2005 at 2:19 pm
Maybe you could send her a desert hedgehog.
July 5th, 2005 at 7:18 pm
When my hubby was in first Yemen, then Qatar, I mostly got blank cards that he wrote in, or a coupla notes on hotel stationery. (He got cushy duty in Doha – working in the DAO, billeted at the Ritz-Carlton!)
I’m with Marie – seeing your actual handwriting in the mail will probably be the most important thing. Heck, a really stupid card might give her a good laugh.
I don’t recommend the desert hedgehog, or at least not an actual one; they’re not the best travelers. Poor thing would probably get horrendously airsick or miss its connecting flight and end up at Elmendorf.
July 6th, 2005 at 3:56 pm
Hey Dave! Dani sent me the link. Thanks for the good wishes and congratulations on your own family. You stay safe over there! It’s good to know that the anti-ballistics materials I’m working on will help save people I know. I agree that any card you send your wife will make her day. And the cluelessness with the BX is nothing new from the stories my Dad tell from his time in. Be safe!
July 7th, 2005 at 4:34 pm
Hey Sweetie ~ E-mail me an address and I’ll hit the “for her” aisle at the card store and send you an assortment. You can distibute them as you choose.
Love and kisses.